Friends For The Journey

One of my favorite stories of all time is the Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien. I started reading it in High School, then I read it twice to my kids as they were growing up, then I read through it in Spanish. I have watched the movie based on it repeatedly. Over the summer, I read through “The Hobbit” in Portuguese, and hope to read the rest of the trilogy in Portuguese someday (maybe when I finish my PhD?). And after that? French?

One of the reasons I like it so much, besides the theme of courage, and good and evil, is the theme of camaraderie and loyal friendship. When Frodo realizes that the ring will arouse jealousy and betrayal, and turn friends and allies against one another, he offers to take the ring to Mordor and destroy it, “though…I do not know the way.”

Immediately, Aragorn, son of Arathorn, volunteers to accompany him and even lay down his life for him. One-by-one, Gandalf, Boromir, the elf, the dwarf and the other hobbits offer to risk their lives to accompany their friend on his mission. Thus is born a “fellowship.” Along the way, each of them will be separated at some point, but their love for one another, and their loyalty is never shaken, even in those dark moments alone in the face of evil.

Normally, Debbie has chemo on Tuesdays, and I can sit with her and work on my school work (it takes two to three hours). Yesterday, I had a class to go to and I dropped her off and one of my kids picked her up after. She said she was sitting in the oncologists office, and all the other patients had at least one family member with them, while she was alone. We decided this morning that she will not have to do it alone again.

Life is meant to be experienced with others. We have a human need to ‘share’ life together. Who are you sharing your hopes and fears, successes and failures with?

Below is an abbreviated outline of Rick Warren’s study #18, Experiencing life together,

EXPERIENCING LIFE TOGETHER

Each one of you is part of the body of Christ and you were chosen to live together in peace (Col. 3:15).

How wonderful it is, how pleasant for God’s people to live together in harmony! Psa. 133:1

LIFE IS MEANT TO BE SHARED.
God intends for us to experience life together. This shared experience is fellowship or community.

God’s incredible promise about close friendships: “For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst” (Matt. 18:20).

Fellowship is genuine, heart-to-heart, sometimes gut-level, sharing. It happens when people get honest about who they are and what is happening in their lives. They share their hurts reveal their feelings, confess their failures, disclose their doubts, admit their fears, acknowledge their weaknesses, and ask for help and prayer.

“If we live in the light, as God is in the light, we can share fellowship with one another” (1John 1:7). Darkness is used to hide our hurts, faults, fears, failures, and flaws.

Another scripture that encourages us to vulnerable sharing is found in 1Peter 5:16:
“Make this your common practice: Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you can live together whole and healed.”

IN REAL FELLOWSHIP PEOPLE EXPERIENCE MUTUALITY.
Mutuality is the art of giving and receiving. It’s depending on each other. Mutuality is the heart of fellowship: building reciprocal relationships, sharing responsibilities and helping each other. The Bible encourages mutual accountability, mutual encouragement, mutual serving and mutual honoring.

IN REAL FELLOWSHIP PEOPLE EXPERIENCE SYMPATHY.
Sympathy meets two fundamental human needs: the need to be understood and the need to have your feelings validated. Every time your understand and affirm someone’s feelings you build fellowship. The deepest fellowship is to share someone’s sufferings.

IN REAL FELLOWSHIP PEOPLE EXPERIENCE MERCY.
Fellowship is a place of grace, where mistakes aren’t rubbed in but rubbed out. Fellowship happens when mercy wins over justice.

We all need mercy, because we all stumble and fall and require help getting back on track. We need to offer mercy to each other and be willing to receive it from each other. God says, “When people sin, you should forgive and comfort them, so they won’t give up in despair.”

You can’t have fellowship without forgiveness. God warns “never hold grudges,” because bitterness and resentment always destroy fellowship. Because we’re imperfect, sinful people, we inevitably hurt each other when we’re together for a long enough time. It takes massive amounts of mercy and grace to create and maintain fellowship. Will I use my energy and emotions for retaliation or for resolution? You can’t do both. Forgiveness is letting go of the past. Trust has to do with the future.