Friends For The Journey

Psalm 31 describes depression in amazingly accurate terms…

Be kind to me, God—
I’m in deep, deep trouble again.
I’ve cried my eyes out;
I feel hollow inside.
My life leaks away, groan by groan; my years fade out in sighs.
My troubles have worn me out,
turned my bones to powder.

Deep, deep trouble sounds like anxiety and distress. Check.
Crying one’s eyes out? That sounds like grief. Check.
Feeling hollow inside? That’s the loss of identity and a sense of purpose and direction, Check.
Groaning, years fading away in sighs, loss of motivation. Check.
Troubles have worn me out? Fatigue. Check.
Bones turning to powder? I’m not sure about that one, but there is a growing body of medical evidence of a mind/body connection. Stress, anger, depression all have significant effects on physical health.

My friends are horrified;
they cross the street to avoid me.
They want to blot me from memory,
forget me like a corpse in a grave,
discard me like a broken dish in the trash.

There is also a social component of depression. Studies have indicated that parents of terminally ill children tend to emotionally detach from their sick children as a coping mechanism. Anyone who has had to deal with terminal illness has experienced the complications for friendships … some friends are uncomfortable dealing with illness, tragedy and end of life issues…so they innocently distance themselves, not knowing what to say or do.

At the same time, people who are depressed tend to isolate themselves, partly to avoid the emotional drain of having to perform in ‘small talk’ social settings and partly because they are unable to paste on the social smile and act naturally. At the same time, those dealing with depression are likely to feel intensely lonely. Anyone who has dealt with either terminal illness or depression understands what the Psalmist was feeling when his friend “crossed the street to avoid” him, and attempted to blot/discard him from memory.

There is more to come on Psalm 31 … its not all bad news (thank God!)