Friends For The Journey

6.1.09—The Wildness of God…(We live our lives before) the wild, dangerous, unfettered and free character of the living God—Walter Bruggerman

This is a quote from a book called “The Sacred Romance” that we are reading in a book club that I am a part of. It reminds me of the Chronicles of Narnia where Lucy says, “He’s not a tame lion, you know.”

Every now and then someone will ask me why God would let this happen to me and I am never quite sure what to say, but I do know that God is not a respecter of persons. He doesn’t love me more that anyone else, so why should he make my life any easier than anyone else’s? His only promise was that He would never leave, nor forsake me…that he would be with me forever.

If you think about it God was very hard on Job, even provoked the devil to consider him, He left Joseph languishing in prison for years and even abandoned Jesus on the cross, without attempting to rescue him. There are many others mentioned as well. Job’s reply to his wife when she told him to curse God and die was, “Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?” So, I choose to accept both, when they come my way. I still think the good outweighs the bad and I know I am not alone.

My recent tests are pretty good. My tumor marker stayed at 61 and didn’t go up even though I took a break from one of the treatments. The PET Scan showed continued tumor activity in the chest, but the good news is that it has not spread to the brain or other vital organs of the body. The one area that I would ask your prayers for is the daily pain that requires me to take strong pain meds.

But don’t let this make you feel bad for me…I still have a very full, fun filled life with five lively grandchildren who keep me on my toes!

I still believe life is good and I am enjoying it to the max. God willing, I will even be tutoring two or three of my grandchildren in reading and math throughout the summer. My oldest grandson, Aaron says “You’re a tough old bird mama” (hehehe).

We had a little scare with my insurance in May. My coverage with Blue Cross ended and it has been difficult to find coverage, but God was faithful and we found excellent coverage starting June 1st. (Actually, it found us…it was recommended to me by the hospital where I go for treatment.) Thank you for your prayers for this matter. There was no way we could afford $40,000 a month for the chemo treatments and all that comes with it. I seriously wondered if my time was up for a while because the tumors start growing again when I don’t take the chemo. But I am still here!

Joseph will be in Brazil June 2-17th to present a paper at a conference in Rio. He will also be doing research and making contacts in case he receives a scholarship to do a year of research in preparation for his dissertation. I hope to fly to Ohio a few days after chemo to be with my mother while he is away. I am taking my “almost” eight year old granddaughter with me and we are looking forward to the trip together.

What a wild adventure we are on! Don’t you agree? We have no idea what tomorrow will bring, yet we can have peace in this fragile life we live and our guide…well, He’s not a tame lion you know. Blessings, Debbie