July 7 - "Breathe" ... personal reflections · Jul 7, 09:46 AM

I’m working away this morning on an essay about the Catholic Enlightenment in Latin America for my comprehensive exams on August 3rd. Debbie is next door at my daughter’s house babysitting three little rascally boys, ages 6 months to 5 years.


In a couple of hours we leave for the hospital for her bi-weekly chemo therapy.

I plan to take my laptop and keep writing my essay while sitting with her. Lately, with my travels and studies, she has had to go to chemo alone far too many times.

I have to admit that it is not easy keeping up with normal life while having to face a week of discomfort and pain out of every two weeks. Even though it is her pain and discomfort, it affects me emotionally. I feel bad for her. But on the other hand – she is still alive after four years, and relatively healthy. I guess in one sense pain is good –when you stop feeling pain, you are probably in the next world. Everyone that we know that got cancer around the same time that she did is already gone. People are regularly amazed that with stage 4 cancer she is still alive and going after 4 years. So we learn to take the good with the bad and to focus on joy and contentment in the moment.

Life is difficult—but it is good at the same time. It is hard to explain. Good art has dark colors as well as light. Good music and drama have dark themes amidst the light and happy moments. Humor makes light of tragedy and almost always has a tragic element.

Life is difficult for us at the moment – but at the same time, we daily experience deep and profound love for one another and for our friends, and we daily experience joy – joy inexpressible, woven in around the darker themes of discouragement, heaviness and sorrow. Life is not boring for us – it is good, even when it sucks! REALLY GOOD!

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Comment

  1. Well put!

    — Patti Crute · Jul 7, 12:05 PM · #

  2. thanks for the window into the soul!

    — shari sutherland · Jul 7, 12:29 PM · #

  3. Good stuff!

    — John and Vicki · Jul 7, 10:39 PM · #

  4. thanks for sharing this site Joseph

    — Stu · Jul 8, 03:05 AM · #

  5. hey Stu! good to see you. Thanks Patti, Shari and John: good friends all.
    So far so good, Debbie is next door babysiting again this morning. We had an awesome ‘god-party’ last night … 15 young adults showed up and there was tears and conversation about forgiveness.

    — joseph · Jul 8, 07:25 AM · #

  6. HI DEBBIE, YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL IN ALL YOUR PICTURES. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, I CELEBRATED 35 YRS ALSO! WE HAVE TO BE GRATEFUL THAT THE LORD HAS KEPT OUR MARRIAGE TOGETHER, AND THE WAY IT LOOKS, GETTING EVEN BETTER! I CONTINUE TO PRAY FOR YOU AND KEEP YOU IN MY HEART. CAN LUCILLE AND I VISIT YOU AGAIN? I WOULD LOVE TO SEE YOU. LET ME KNOW WHEN YOUR UP FOR IT. HUGS AND KISSES.

    — marien · Jul 16, 08:10 AM · #

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